Updated: Dec 19, 2022
This week I want to introduce you to someone … this is Hooman.
I have been holding Hooman back, because they are a work in progress, and I was anxious to “have it right” before I showed anyone and also because there is so much still to come and to tweak. But I know there is so much impact here, that I thought I would share a sneak peek. And I’m just plain over excited.
I’m working with a new coach and mentor at the moment – I talked about coaches having coaches in my blog “Do I need a coach?". It’s important to me that you know I put my money where my mouth is and walk my own talk. As humans we are continuously learning and developing, there isn’t a point when we are “finished” and as such, even as a coach myself, I benefit hugely by being the client and having that sounding board of my own.
I’m working on really digging into who my client is, how I am serving them and how effectively I am communicating with them. One of my first actions with my coach, was to show him Hooman. You see, I recognise a huge part of my journey and my clients’ journey in Hooman. And I love a picture! I’m so visual – even when I am in my happy place of writing, it is always with pictures and metaphors in my mind.
When I see Hooman like this, I remember where I was, this was me and it makes me want to give them a hug. At the top of the career ladder, feeling so tired and fed up – defeated actually. Having come from a place of ambition and determination, I had found myself out of runway ahead, disorientated and demotivated and yet in some way tied to this place and unable to stand up and move in any direction – not seeing any doorways or paths available. I felt very foolish for having somehow ended up here and my self-confidence, as a result, took a big knock.
As many of you know, what followed for me was the biggest of all changes. After 20 years with the same company, with a role and people I loved, I made the most difficult professional decision to date in my life… I resigned. Even saying it now feels weird and it felt like a combination of giving up, admitting defeat and also of finally backing myself and having the courage to step into an adventure, where I was utterly untethered, so connected with myself and able to be me. It was the right decision for me, and it was painful. Right doesn’t always mean fun and comfortable, indeed it can often mean the opposite.
Our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different or truer answers. M. Scott Peck
Where I find myself now is here:
And here is where I believe we all want to be. Let’s be clear, it’s not perfection, it is not the case that everything suddenly becomes easy and effortless. But there is an ease to this place, there is space and ambition again and a zest.
To get here I jumped, that’s just my story, and since then I have travelled with clients who also decided to jump. And I have walked alongside many, many more who haven’t. Those clients that found a new doorway or a new way of being without needing to or wanting to jump. The result is the same, the smile that Hooman has, the ability to breathe out finally and to really feel, yes this is me.
So, what am I saying? 3 things:
1. When we are, like Hooman, sat with our head in our hands, we feel so alone in our struggle. It can be hard to open up to others that - no, the security, the salary, the perks are just not enough anymore; it can feel selfish to say so. But we are not alone. Since I started talking about it, I have found a tribe. Step one is to be honest with yourself where you are, how you feel, and then to find a trusted ally to share this with. You are not alone.
2. What we see as the chosen path of someone else, may not be our path. It may feel like an impossibility to change roles, to leave, to start something new; it may be simply we don’t want to. Your right is your right, not mine, not anyone else’s. Don’t allow others’ opinions and expectations shape your reality. Choice is there, you may need to dig, but it is. And it’s your choice, always.
3. When clients come to me, ah hell when I am the client too – we want the answer don’t we? We want to be told the process and told the answer – do this and all will be well – in fact what we really want is to be told we don’t have to do anything – the coach will do it for us 😊. Dammit I can’t do that for you, I’m sorry! But I can help and importantly so can you: we are all (ALL!!) doing our own work, continuously, and “the work” is moving forward, making mistakes, learning, being open, staying aware and asking for help as we need it. It’s human (and it’s Hooman 😊).
So much more to come from Hooman. I am working with the wonderfully talented Susan Bugby (do check her out on Instagram @susanbugbyillustration), who I am so lucky to have been to school with, way back when in sunny Birmingham.
If you see yourself in Hooman and are interested in how I can work with you, you can speak to me directly and book a free initial half hour session with me here. I personally hate feeling pressured and hassled, so I pride myself that you will never experience that from me if you are a no thanks after this session.
You can learn more about me on YouTube https://youtu.be/B9EiOo-N7qI
Follow mw on Instagram and Facebook @start2thrive
Join the Start to Thrive Mailing list for future blog posts